cross roads

It was the same..as though nothing had changed in the past few weeks…the same bus conductor..who never had change..the same cobbler by the municipal office building..the same guard who glared at her as she went through…all the familiar faces..They’d never exchanged a word the past two years..not much of a smile either..It was just the flash of recognition…but there was something very comforting about that…

It had been an entire two months trial…the courts,..cases…sheets of paper to be signed in..attorneys rushing around in their black coats..how she’d always hated those  uniforms!..and it seemed that she’d spent an entire lifetime between figures clad in black and white…

It was such a relief to be back..away from all that..amongst familiar yet unfamiliar faces..There was something about the city that put her at ease..She’d shifted to a new paying guest accommodation..which meant that she didn’t have to deal with the pitying looks and all the sympathy!...Well,of course she’d to deal with it at work..but that was ok…all she had to do was keep glued to her seat and system..Everyone had their own problems…so they hardly had time to sympathise,.., empathise..or whatever!!..she remembered the look on the milk man’s face when she’d gone to get milk last week…oh!!thats was when she’d decided that she had to get back to the city ASAP!!!

The divorce had been smooth..everything had been amicably settled.She had just wanted to get out of the relationship as soon as it was possible. ..she’d put up with it for more than a year..she din’t want even to think about the past anymore..he had been cheating on her…right from day one…..caught him multiple times..with different women. She had talked to him about it...She’d thought that they had matters settled between them finally…home had seen much more pleasant..it had seemed that he was making time for her…that was when she caught him with the new maid…and that was IT!!!!...

As she walked down the path..she wondered at her ability to cope with the decision.To be brutually honest,it hadn’t been too hard.True,it had taken a toll on everyone’s life at home..but well,they’d never been aware of the real situation.She’d never spoken about it .They had tried talking to her about it…brought in close aunts and uncles into the picture…but she’d never budged from the decision that she’d taken…and Thank God for that…!!The very prospect of walking into the same room where he was irked her…maybe time would heal it all….But to make a long story short..it had been easy on her as they had never actually been soul mates..there had been something missing from the relationship right from the start.She had tried to better matters between them,but it hadn’t worked…he’d been quite alright with the normal husband duties..been caring considerate..and all that..but..there was that BUT.Maybe that was what caused his philandering ways….maybe she was also partly responsible for it…

 They were better off apart..she was now free from the nauseating crushing feeling from within..and somehow the world seemed a better place..She was all set to start from scratch..to hone her writing skills again which she had abandoned without as much as a backward glance..She had to carve a place for herself both at work and between friend circles..

His side:

He was at ease..finally. Sure,things were definitely moving his way..but then they were destined to.No woman would put up with what he done…and he had known she would leave…

He smiled to himself..how little she had known him..she had accussed him of being a womanizer of all things!!!..hehe!!well,of course he had set it all up so that she could accuse him of that..but it did seem so out of his league!...and so he had told pratheesh…but then pratheesh had pointed out that it was the only way she would want to let go of the relation without being hurt…and it was true.If he had tried to speak to her,without letting out the truth..it would have brought about years of despair..and she would probably never get out of it…This way it was better. he could stand the hatred.

He thought of the day his father had brought forward the proposal..at that time he had thought that he would be able to skirt around and escape..as always..but things didn’t work.Befor he knew it,things were finalized and a day was fixed…and then..he was married!!!..He wasn’t a bad guy..he knew that she deserved better..more than he would ever be able to give her..and he couldn’t get himself to tell her the truth.He spoke to Pratheesh about it..and that’s when they came up with their plan..the usual philandering..that would always result in separation of the couple. He had thought that she would move out at the first sighting itself..that she would get angry and just pack her bags and leave.But that did not happen..She stayed..and he had to put up the act more than a couple of times..But she was just so patient with him..he knew that he would have been a very lucky man..if things were otherwise.When she had brought the matter to him..and had finally sat down and spoken to him,that’s when he realized all that she had been through for his sake..and he hated himself for it.He thought he would try to be the husband she wanted…give it a shot at least..and true..,life did seem so much pleasant then…but from the outside.The truth churned within him,..and every night as he llay down beside her,all he could he could think about was him.

Once he had talked to her,he had brought the matter to him,Pratheesh..and told him that he had decided to give it another shot and be with her.He had understood..as always..And he had stood by him.

“If you think you’ve gotta do it..then go for it..I’l always be here.”Pratheesh had said.

Pratheesh had never had to be at cross roads with his identity.He had known that he was a misfit in the society and had been open about.His folk had had time to accept him the way he was..and had never bothered him with marriage.He  had shifted to the city and that’s when he had met Sandeep.

It would always be something that normal people would never understand..but they had fell in love right at the start.There was something that drew them together..a certain void filled within..Pratheesh had understood it from the start.Sandeep had taken time..been revolted at himself..for his seemingly abnormal tendencies..but then had finally fallen into the flow..as life would have him. People would say that it was going against nature..but to them there seemed nothing more natural..it was almost like it was what they had been waiting for all life.

That’s when Sandeep was forced into marriage with Rita…he had done his best to go against his family..but somehow things went out of hand..and before he knew it,He was living with her in the city.

“Lets get to know each other first..before we..err..consumate our marriage?”he had asked her delicately on their first night together.She had looked surprised ..but agreed..thankfully..and the “getting to know each other”..stretched for an entire year..with his little escapades filling in a major portion of that one year..When they had had their li’l talk…hmm..that’s when he realized that maybe he ought to put in a bit of effort into the marriage.And he had tried…given it his best shot actually..but she was never the one he wanted to be with towards the end of the day.It was always Pratheesh.So he had spoken to him and they planned the final episode together..with the newly appointed maid.It had worked…and thus came an end to  their life together.

He had moved in with Pratheesh on the pretext of lowering expenses with sharing a flat.And finally he was at peace.She had moved back to the city,where she had been working before the wedding..and through the disastrous year of their marriage.he could never bring himself to be honest with himself with his parents.His father,being the ex-military..might as well as fire at him!..They were upset ..of course..but there were no talks of marriage at the moment..He was satisfied with the way things were.

Life would move on.